11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
