I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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