she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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