New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
