Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
