so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize