Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
