Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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