I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
