i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
