Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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