need another drink. this is the easiest way
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
