Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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