I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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