Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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