gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
