I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize