apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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