and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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