Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
