You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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