All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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