we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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