sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
