This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
