Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
