If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
