this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dick very happy bro
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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