I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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