i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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