Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
