We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
