Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
