is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
