There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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