I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
