you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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