idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
