i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
