Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
