How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
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I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
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i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
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