I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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