The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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