I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
