She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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