Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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