We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
