babies were throwing up all over the place
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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