i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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