found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
