Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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