I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
