A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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