I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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