my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize