And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
