But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
